Post by Ra on Oct 27, 2006 8:46:14 GMT -5
I just need to get a few things off my chest today.
Lately I've been under a lot of pressure just to keep up with life. This includes school, my part time job (about the end of fall and all through winter), and just balancing everything out with time for myself. I haven't turned on my PS2 in over six months, and THAT is a sign of lack of free time. My parents always want to go away on holidays up north to where there is no technology. It's an issue for me every year, since not only am I away from my friends and entertainment for two weeks, but I have no one else to interact with up there. So I just pass the time filling up visual art diaries in order to improve my drawing skills.
Last term at school was horrible. My computers teacher put me by myself for a group activity. He said I could handle it. At one point, the stress was so great that I had to skip out on my last period of the day, just so then I could recover and pull myself together. All term it was just computers this and computers that. I was afraid that the same thing would happen again this term (thankfully not).
School hasen't been bad to me, nor has life. It is just that ever since that term, I have felt like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I'm expected to do so much in such a limited amount of time. I also am doing a fun art project (I'm cutting up stuffed animals *grins evilly*), but I can not find the right materials. It is due in about two weeks, which is not far away. This wouldn't be so bad if I didn't go on school camp.
School camp, with was last week, was one of the most physically exhausting weeks of my life. No, it was THE most physically exhausting week of my life. I could not do any work on the weekend or anything. I just feel like my mind is being crushed by all of these things at once. It is as if my heart is bearing the weight of the world, and, even though people know that the heart can not hold out forever, they keep on going about their lives without helping me, even though I'm asking for help.
Also, one of my friends is being a bit of a snot-nosed bitch (excuse my French). For computers, we were again split into groups. My friend has two good friends of hers, which is fine by me, but she was one of the people who knew that I was under pressure last term and did nothing about it, even when I asked for her help. I some how had joined her group before finding a group that desperatly needed an artist. I tried to tell her that, but she was more focused telling a story to someone else in the class about her camping experiences from two weeks ago. She thought I was in her group all lesson until finally she realized that I had changed groups. Baka
There are just so many things happening lately that I haven't even had time for sleep. Even now I am fighting the urge to drop dead (but it IS fifteen minutes to midnight). I'm just tired, stressed, and wishing for a part of my burden to be eased. Hope my mini-rant made sense... ^_^;
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I was going to make another post, but I think this will be easier than double posting.
Recently at some certain forums (I shall keep names out of this), there have been clashes with mods between themselves and members. Thankfully, I'm not one of the ones invovled, but it makes me distressed and sick looking at all of these people fighting with one another. I could recall a time when although things were a bit shacky, we got along fine. Only the total assholes were the problem. Now in one week there have been hideous clashes, resulting in two locked threads. Now, I'm no mod or admin, but I do know that is not a good sign. I'm sure that there will be even bigger clashes in the future, possibly leading to people being banned for just their opinions, or just because that mods dislike them and their views. Things are just out of control, and I just don't really want to be a part of those forums any more, even though it is my current stomping grounds.
I'm thinking of leaving there for a while until everyone pulls themselves together again. Just something along the lines of -
"Yeah, I'm leaving. I WILL be back, but only when you guys actually stop picking fights with one another and just try to act rational in threads, especially those that you know are a mine field for fights. I've been tolerant of everyone, and, even though I love this place, it just ain't the same. You have seen people leave perminantly in the past, and I don't want to join them. As much as I love you guys, I just need some time away from the pointless fighting."
I have no idea what to do. Should I leave, or should I stay? The pointless fights, locking of threads, it just seems so unstable for me in my current stage in life. I go into threads that I love, fearing that there will be an argument on the venge of starting or has taken place. Friendly ones, agressive ones, and so on. I just need security in my forums, and these guys aren't certainly providing it. Any suggestions to what I should do?
Lately I've been under a lot of pressure just to keep up with life. This includes school, my part time job (about the end of fall and all through winter), and just balancing everything out with time for myself. I haven't turned on my PS2 in over six months, and THAT is a sign of lack of free time. My parents always want to go away on holidays up north to where there is no technology. It's an issue for me every year, since not only am I away from my friends and entertainment for two weeks, but I have no one else to interact with up there. So I just pass the time filling up visual art diaries in order to improve my drawing skills.
Last term at school was horrible. My computers teacher put me by myself for a group activity. He said I could handle it. At one point, the stress was so great that I had to skip out on my last period of the day, just so then I could recover and pull myself together. All term it was just computers this and computers that. I was afraid that the same thing would happen again this term (thankfully not).
School hasen't been bad to me, nor has life. It is just that ever since that term, I have felt like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I'm expected to do so much in such a limited amount of time. I also am doing a fun art project (I'm cutting up stuffed animals *grins evilly*), but I can not find the right materials. It is due in about two weeks, which is not far away. This wouldn't be so bad if I didn't go on school camp.
School camp, with was last week, was one of the most physically exhausting weeks of my life. No, it was THE most physically exhausting week of my life. I could not do any work on the weekend or anything. I just feel like my mind is being crushed by all of these things at once. It is as if my heart is bearing the weight of the world, and, even though people know that the heart can not hold out forever, they keep on going about their lives without helping me, even though I'm asking for help.
Also, one of my friends is being a bit of a snot-nosed bitch (excuse my French). For computers, we were again split into groups. My friend has two good friends of hers, which is fine by me, but she was one of the people who knew that I was under pressure last term and did nothing about it, even when I asked for her help. I some how had joined her group before finding a group that desperatly needed an artist. I tried to tell her that, but she was more focused telling a story to someone else in the class about her camping experiences from two weeks ago. She thought I was in her group all lesson until finally she realized that I had changed groups. Baka
There are just so many things happening lately that I haven't even had time for sleep. Even now I am fighting the urge to drop dead (but it IS fifteen minutes to midnight). I'm just tired, stressed, and wishing for a part of my burden to be eased. Hope my mini-rant made sense... ^_^;
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was going to make another post, but I think this will be easier than double posting.
Recently at some certain forums (I shall keep names out of this), there have been clashes with mods between themselves and members. Thankfully, I'm not one of the ones invovled, but it makes me distressed and sick looking at all of these people fighting with one another. I could recall a time when although things were a bit shacky, we got along fine. Only the total assholes were the problem. Now in one week there have been hideous clashes, resulting in two locked threads. Now, I'm no mod or admin, but I do know that is not a good sign. I'm sure that there will be even bigger clashes in the future, possibly leading to people being banned for just their opinions, or just because that mods dislike them and their views. Things are just out of control, and I just don't really want to be a part of those forums any more, even though it is my current stomping grounds.
I'm thinking of leaving there for a while until everyone pulls themselves together again. Just something along the lines of -
"Yeah, I'm leaving. I WILL be back, but only when you guys actually stop picking fights with one another and just try to act rational in threads, especially those that you know are a mine field for fights. I've been tolerant of everyone, and, even though I love this place, it just ain't the same. You have seen people leave perminantly in the past, and I don't want to join them. As much as I love you guys, I just need some time away from the pointless fighting."
I have no idea what to do. Should I leave, or should I stay? The pointless fights, locking of threads, it just seems so unstable for me in my current stage in life. I go into threads that I love, fearing that there will be an argument on the venge of starting or has taken place. Friendly ones, agressive ones, and so on. I just need security in my forums, and these guys aren't certainly providing it. Any suggestions to what I should do?
